Self-control is an English expression for self-control. Self-control is part of human values. It makes the person different from others. It is also an internal awareness that allows us to control our feelings. Self-control is effectively forged through contact with others; including toxic personalities … The challenge always allows us to evolve, after all!
How to gain self-control? It can be difficult to develop self-control, but it is possible to make changes in your life and manage impulsiveness. You can have a better mastery of your life, feel more responsible for what you are, and be able to stimulate your self-esteem when you better control yourself and your actions.
I – Self-Control, a Question of Will!
And if we ask ourselves the question: “Am I someone who knows how to gain self-control? Use the self-control?” The simplest answer would be a “yes” or a “no”, but to the question “To which point?” What would we answer? How to evaluate our degree of self-control? And what if we do not really know how to act on our self-control?
Good news! Self-control, it is learned, it is maintained and it develops…
So we can raise our degree of self-control if we have the intention, the will and if we know how it works.
In a rather simplistic way, consider the will as a muscle that can be developed. On the other hand, if we ask for it too much, we can exhaust it and lose its power. Take this situation to illustrate the mechanism:
Imagine that for a few days you have decided to pay attention to your diet. Imagine that right now, you’re working, focused and coming into your office to put a chocolate bar or cake on the table when you’re a bit hungry.
May I ask you about your willingness to resist? On the intensity of your self-control in this situation?
You will surely do everything to hold you back, and at the same time, can you stay as focused as you were before I entered your office? Would you feel frustrated? Would that make you irritable? Maybe you will feel easily tired physically with difficulty concentrating …
*** How to Gain Self-Control? a Question of Will!
The will is exhausted when we fight against incentives when we get frustrated. Managing our negative emotions is exhausting, physically.
When our will is diminished, we are not able to control ourselves. Self-control requires effort, energy, perseverance, practice.
All the “bad” habits that settle in our daily life and become stubborn, are transformed into automatisms, they do not require us any more effort to exercise but become impossible to dislodge.
*** the Increase of Self-Control and the Musculation of Our Will
How to strengthen our will? How to gain self-control? And why increase our capacity for self-control?
To develop one’s self-control is to create new beneficial automation. For that, change these bad habits by more adequate answers and practice them until they become new automatisms.
An automatism, well installed, no longer requires effort and therefore does not exhaust our will. First of all, let’s observe in our everyday life:
– What are the counterproductive habits that we would like to change, those that have become automatisms? (List them)
– Choose “the battle” by which one would like to start? It’s best to start with a simple habit that does not have too much impact. One and only one for more success.
– Define a goal, choosing the new behavior that we would like to install.
– Visualize yourself in the future by practicing easily this new beneficial habit to create motivation.
– Cut the new behavior into steps and complete them one by one.
Example: “I want to decrease the time spent on social networks, go from responding instantly to each notification to log in 2 times a day”.
Going directly to 2 connections a day can be pretty brutal and ask too much will, which is, as we have seen exhausting. Beginning with a 5-minute connection every hour (or 2 hours) is an easy first step to success.
The training will improve our endurance. And when we are ready, increase the level of difficulty according to our “new” self-control ability. So let’s continue until we reach the desired level of self-control.
Congratulations on each accomplishment to boost our self-esteem and promote our daily fulfillment.
The goal: When we master ourselves, we can better manage our emotions, which contributes greatly to our fulfillment, we can take up challenges and gain self-confidence.
II – Methods to Promote Self-Control
If the human being is endowed with consciousness and willingly influenced by his feelings, he has a character trait of his own: he is able to control his emotions through self-control.
What would be without self-control? Bloody beasts answering only our deepest instincts, no doubt.
This ability not to react in haste and without reflection is however questioning in our everyday life.
If we are indeed able to lead, we are sometimes blinded by events and our “demons” take over.
It is thus that external manifestations of socially repressed feelings or behaviors can appear: anger, violence, rage …
Self-control then stems from the assimilation of social boundaries and behaviors to be adopted within one’s environment.
To flourish in his daily life and his environment, it is obvious that one must know how to fight against certain reflexes such as impulsivity.
Here are some tips that will help you to never go beyond the limits and promote the development of self-control.
1. How to Gain Self-Control by Analyzing One’s Existence
To develop balanced psychology, one must be able to submit to introspection.
By analyzing each compartment of your life, you will quickly highlight areas where your ability to control your emotions is lacking. True self-control cannot be done without going through an analysis of its existence (a serious introspection).
Do you have trouble cashing the critics? An omnipresent fear of failure or rejection?
It is by probing your deepest feelings that you will discover the causes of your malaise and the means to overcome it.
Most people who react violently or who fail to make self-control a component of their behavior, have in fact not accepted their weakness.
There is no shame, however, in not tolerating failure or being susceptible … It’s all about becoming aware of it so as not to explode when these feelings surface: that’s it, self-control.
Do not forget that knowledge is power. Becoming aware of one’s tendency to overreact is already a first step towards how to gain self-control.
Once you have identified the elements that can trigger the lack of self-control, you just need to focus on them on a daily basis to turn them into motivational elements.
There is no need to repeat that personal motivation is one of the keys to personal growth.
If you know that criticism can make you go away, it is up to you to exult your anger in a way other than confrontation: register in a gym, boxing classes, or do long walk in the forest.
You must find a parallel activity that will allow you to regain some psychological stability.
The negative feelings that stagnate deep inside you and are stimulated by your environment should not become triggers that activate inappropriate reactions.
You cannot insult your superior or slam the door of your couple for so little.
3. Self-Control Enhanced by Self-Confidence
Relational interactions are thus made: some people will always be there to try to destabilize you.
And if they do, you will always be, unfortunately, the big loser.
On the other hand, if you succeed in incorporating the fact that you are better than that, such attempts will only have the effect of demonstrating the puerility of its authors.
Jealous, envious or unhealthy people, you just have to make their opinions…
Self-confidence is precisely this ability to ignore others. You know who you are and what you want: to maintain that strength, the power of self-control.
As you know, doubting yourself undermines your credibility in the eyes of the world and therefore weakens self-control: how can you respond in an impassive way if you constantly consider the judgment of others?
Thus the answer is all: To control your emotions you must let them invade you without repressing them, but without allowing them to dictate your behavior.
Do not ask yourself questions, just be yourself and you will see that people’s perception of you will change.
It is not difficult to realize that someone is trying to hide his true character and fight against his inner feelings.
Self-control is the ability to accept your feelings and incorporate them into your personality to form a whole.
Never forget that to gain self-control, you will need to be able to keep a cool head and act in all rationality by relying on your charisma.
III – Develop a Long-Term Self-Control
1 – Acknowledge Your Impulsive Thoughts.
You can better develop your control of yourself by having strategies that allow you to resist the temptation to react at the moment. Start by making a list of the behaviors you would like to master and the situations that often trigger these attitudes.
When you recognize the moments when you feel the need to act impulsively, you will be better equipped to create a delay between this need and action.
2 – List the Habits or Behaviors You Want to Dominate.
Consider the suggestions that your entourage could have made to you if that is the case. Remember that authentic changes come from within, so you should listen to your intuition and respect what you feel while also considering the opinions of people who share your life. You should commit to making changes and developing self-control if you really want to change your behavior.
Some examples may be smoking, junk food, bad work habits, a productivity problem, compulsive shopping or other things.
3 – Choose from Your List the Behavior You Want to Master First.
We all have areas in our lives where we could be more disciplined and want greater control. So you should remember to go smoothly and take your time. Review your list and choose a domain you want to attack. It takes time to change habits and the development of self-control requires effort. Respect your energy and set realistic and achievable goals.
Remember that you can only control your own behavior when making a choice. For example, do not choose to have a better relationship with your parents since it also requires your parents to make an effort. It is better to set a goal that is to improve your interactions with your parents because it only concerns your own behavior.
Be realistic about the types of changes you want to make that will suit your life, schedule, and abilities. You risk ruining your efforts and giving up if you try to change everything at once, even if it’s quite ambitious.
4 – Learn About This Behavior.
Learn as much as you can about how others develop self-control in similar situations. Find out from loved ones or loved ones who have made similar changes in their lives. Does some Internet research about exactly what you want to change at home.
If a compulsive eating urge is a behavior you decide to change, find books that deal with eating disorders and gather as many helpful strategies as possible regarding self-control in the area of eating. For example, start with a journal for just what you eat and write down any strategies you might discover. This gives you more solutions to try to find out what is right for you.
5 – Motivate Yourself.
Keep for yourself clear reasons why you want to control this behavior and remember them constantly. Try to find your inner motivation and talk about it in your journal. You could also keep a list of reasons on small slips of paper in your wallet, or plan a reminder on your phone.
Say, for example, that you are trying to develop a mastery of yourself in relation to your smoking. You could note what you cost cigarettes, the effects on your health, the smell, the dental care and so on. Also make a list of all the benefits of stopping smoking, including having more money to spend on something else, whiter teeth, better breathing or any other reason that can motivate you to stop.
6 – Rebuild Yourself.
Strongly encourage yourself to make the changes you want in your life. A good attitude can really influence your ability to practice greater self-control. Do not be too hard on yourself if you feel that you are not achieving your goals. Constantly focus on your efforts and ignore what you may feel is a failure. Just try again.
You can use your newspaper to reframe negative statements if you feel that you have been impulsive rather than achieving your goals. If, for example, your goal is no longer to spend money impulsively, but you have given up on a need to shop, look at your goals from a different angle, and remember that you had a very bad day. Praise yourself for being aware of this and get ready to try again.
7 – Reward Yourself.
Do not forget to congratulate yourself correctly for having sought to develop your self-mastery and brought about changes. This will help you build good attitudes to replace bad ones.
If, for example, you want to stop smoking, you could put aside the money you would have spent on your cigarettes and give yourself a day at the beauty salon by example. If you are trying to stop compulsive eating, reward yourself with a small gift as a new shirt.
8 – Know When You Should Ask for Help.
Although the challenging question ‘How to gain self-control?” can be an ambitious and enjoyable part of your desire to change your life and feel more responsible for yourself and your choices, there are situations where you need more help and where the mere will is not enough. Here are some examples of situations where you may need professional help and support:
– If you are struggling with an alcohol problem or other substance,
– If your sexual habits are dangerous or addictive,
– If you find yourself constantly in abusive relationships or dangerous relationships,
– If you try to control your anger or rage, and if you hurt yourself or hurt someone else at that time, etc.
By way of conclusion: Tips
You will not change immediately, so you should be patient and calm. Above all, have recourse to your Creator by praying Him to give you an answer to the question “How to gain self-control?”
Self-control is also a virtue to which every man must aspire.
Learn to forgive, and to understand others. Be tolerant, empathic, and compassionate. Do not hold grudges against those who have offended you. Be aware that self-control is important for your mental, moral, professional, relational and even successful well-being!