Did you ever meet with the question of how to overcome shyness? You’re invited to a party. You would like to go, but you have a big problem because you feel that fear and unrest in yourself, and in the end, you decide not to go. Next time in a similar situation, keep in mind this: Over 40% of people are confronted with shyness, but you do not have to suffer your life because of this. As many as 17 million Americans are supposed to have experienced social anxiety or social phobia. The number of adults who have problems with excessive shyness is even more significant. Fortunately, there are quite a few very effective strategies that can help you overcome excessive shyness and social anxiety, and become more confident.
So how to overcome shyness? People can successfully overcome shyness by slowly and step-by-step facing the new social circumstances.
Even internationally acclaimed expert Bernardo Carducci, who specializes in this field and who wrote some good books on the subject of shyness, once fought, you will not believe, with shyness. “I had many friends, but I never went to any date,” tells Carducci about his adolescent era.
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As many as 17 million Americans are supposed to have experienced social anxiety or social phobia. The number of adults who have problems with excessive shyness is even more significant. Fortunately, there are quite a few very effective strategies that can help you overcome excessive shyness and social anxiety, and become more confident.
A Recipe for Shyness
Although many people think differently, shyness is not entirely rooted in an individual, so it can cope with it and overcome it. Carducci says that shyness is associated with self-awareness, which has been developing for about 18 months. Shy people have self-awareness excessively expressed, they are also negatively valued and are over-burdened with themselves. “Shy people behave as though they had a mirror all the time,” adds Carducci.
Researchers have found that in the case of shyness, heredity also plays an important role. Approximately 15% of new children experience a lot of stress in unique circumstances. Jonathan Cheek, a psychologist at Wellesley Colleague in Massachusetts, says that if one of the singular twins is shy, there is a high probability that even the other one will have a problem with shyness. “This does not mean that shyness is inherited, or that it can not be overcome, but that some people are born shyer than others,” adds Cheek.
Basically, shy people want to be open and friendly, but they do not know what to do that this will happen. In new circumstances, they need some more time to get used to unique circumstances, partly because they are so aware of themselves. As Carducci says, shy people are characterized by a so-called “limited comfort zone.” This means that they are sociable and have friends, but they repeat the same things all the time, hang out with the same people and avoid new social circumstances.
Carducci points out that shyness is not related to self-esteem.
In certain circumstances, people can be very confident and confident in themselves – they can appear in front of the crowd without difficulty, but they have the very thought of having to speak with the stranger, get it in great distress. But at the same time, by the simple thought of having to talk to a stranger, they fall under high stress.
How to Overcome Shyness?
There are many different ways to overcome shyness. One of them is relaxation training. People may be able to represent themselves in different social circumstances, while they breathe profoundly and thus remain calm. Carducci proposes to step beyond the boundaries of its comfort zone slowly. For example, volunteering is one of the best ways to leave your comfort zone. “When you are volunteering, people do not evaluate your skills. It means a lot for them just your time which you gave them,” adds Carducci.
Psychologists agree that shyness should be overcome step by step. For example, if a man wants to invite a colleague to date, let him speak a few words about some work related to the business. Before that, you can practice the conversation with a friend or therapist. When he talks with a cute fellow next time, he can open up a slightly more personal subject – as long as it’s not difficult for him to invite her to date.
Johnatan Cheek adds how essential it is for people to be aware that they do not have to take all the responsibility for this if they sometimes fail. Sometimes the other person is entirely refractory, and her behavior is not in connection with a person who is struggling with shyness.
Do you remember how you learned to ride a bike? At first, you were terrified, but when you tried and finally succeeded, you were proud of yourself and confident. Similarly, it is through gaining self-confidence in interpersonal relationships.
Anxiety itself is not a problem. It’s a problem to avoid people. Go into society – only in this way you will relax, become more confident, and eventually overcome anxiety.
How to Overcome Shyness Through Involving?
This means that, as often as possible, you try to get in touch with strangers – talk to an alien at a bar, at a sports event, at a gym. Invite a guy/woman you like on a date.
Life is short why you should be burdened with someone who rejected you. More than seven billion people live on Earth. You will never like everyone, that’s the fact. But this does not mean that you must now close yourself between the four walls and cease to meet new people.
Try New Things
Join a club, group, or any other activity. Start a new project or start learning something new. In short, do something to get out of your comfort zone.
To overcome shyness, we need to develop self-confidence in several different areas of life, and above all, not to allow anxiety, fear of failure and rejection, or fear of humiliation. Do new things – so that you will face your fears of the unknown and learn how to cope with anxiety effectively.
How to Overcome Shyness Through Talk?
Take advantage of every opportunity to publicly appear before people, prepare a presentation, tell a joke or anecdote. Become more eloquent and express yourself in all areas of your life. Let others hear your ideas.
Self-confident people are not burdened by how they will look in the eyes of others. They are expressing their desire to share their thinking and to connect with other people. You too can succeed. Do not let anxiety and shyness cause you not to be heard.
How to Overcome Shyness Through Vulnerability?
Fear of rejection can lead to anxiety and shyness. The only way to overcome this problem is to allow yourself to become vulnerable. In this way, you will gain more self-confidence in the field of interpersonal relationships.
Vulnerability means letting others see who you really are. Be proud of yourself. Take what you are. Most people will appreciate this more than anything else.
How to Overcome Shyness Through Body Language?
When you talk to someone, make eye contact as often as possible. When you walk, let your posture be straightened and look forward. When you shake hands, squeeze your hand firmly.
Be present and in touch with your thoughts, emotions, feelings, and memories. Know that you will not be able to escape anything. Learn to appreciate yourself and the world around you.
When you are completely present in the moment, you will find that contact with other people is not something that you should avoid. With practice and constant presence at the moment, you can significantly contribute to improving your self-confidence and appreciation.