How to forgive and move on after a break-up? Has anyone offended you or hurt you? Have you decided to forgive him? Do you manage your negative emotions in order to forgive him? Did you perhaps even confront the person who hurt you in order to forgive him? If you really did this, then you are well on your way to forgiving that person. However, the life of a thing is better than its beginning.
To read also: How to forgive someone? – Step 1: How to Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You?
To read also: How to forgive someone? – Step 2: Does Forgiveness Require Reconciliation?
In this article, I will outline a point where many people fail. It happens that some people say they have forgiven others, but they cannot move on. On this: how to forgive someone by moving to something else? What does it mean to move on in this specific context?
When you have made the resolution to forgive, you must now: move on. This is the final step. It allows to concretize and to root the value of the pardon. This step consists of:
1 – Think About What You Want.
It is important to understand that even if you have forgiven this person, you do not necessarily have to give him the same place in your life. Here again, it’s a question of personal and independent choice…
Decide if you want to fix your relationship with this person or let them go. To do this, you need to think long and hard about your relationship. Is it worth saving? Does it have a good chance to make you suffer again if you keep it in your life?
In some situations, for example in an abusive relationship where your partner has cheated on you several times, it is better that you do not leave this person in your life. You deserve better than that. But, I repeat again, everything depends on you.
2 – Concentrate on the Future.
Once you have made the decision to forgive, you must forget the past and focus on the future. If you decide that this relationship is worth saving, you can start moving slowly to something else. Let him know that even if he has hurt you, you still love him and want him in your life.
If you continue to dwell on the wounds of the past, you will never really forgive and move on. See the positive side of things and see this as an opportunity to make a fresh start. This may be all that your relationship needs. What many people do not know is that forgiving is closing the past.
What is the use of stirring the knife in the wound? If you made the decision to forgive; then forgive without regret by leaving the past behind. Because the more you are still attached to the pain, it was as if you lived in the past again. And living in this circumstance in the past prevents you from truly forgiving, but reactivates negative emotions.
3 – Rebuild Your Confidence.
Once you have been hurt, it can be difficult to rebuild confidence. However, it is important to learn to trust yourself, your judgment and your ability to make good decisions. Then you can rebuild the trust you had in this person.
Here, you must remember that man makes mistakes. As a saying goes, ” Error is human, but Forgiveness is divine “.
Commit yourself to be completely open and honest with each other about anything. Live your relationship day after day. It is not possible to gain the trust of the other in one night. You must give time to the other to regain confidence.
If you do this in the spirit of rebuilding the trust that was broken between you, you would be allowing the offender to redeem himself and you to whom the harm was done, it would be a source of joy for you see that you are giving your offender a chance to repent.
4 – Make a List of Positive Things.
Try to see the positive side by making a list of the positive things you can learn from this experience. This could include, for example, your ability to understand and forgive others, a valuable life lesson about trust or having a stronger relationship with the person who hurt you, because you have been able to solve the problem together.
If you start to remember the pain the other person has caused you, do not let that thought overwhelm you. If this happens, you should revisit your past to find answers. Do not see it as another reason to be angry. Instead, see it as an opportunity to heal. In this regard, I urge you to read one of our articles about how to overcome your past.
5 – Remember That You Made the Right Choice.
Sometimes forgiveness means nothing to the person to whom you give it, and sometimes the relationship cannot be repaired. Even if the situation does not resolve the way you had hoped for, remember that you made the right choice. Forgiveness is a noble action and it is something you will not regret.
” As long as one does not look at the face of the thirsty before giving him water to drink; as much as one should not regret having forgiven someone even if that person seems to be ungrateful or unrepentant. ” (Thomson Dablemond).
Remember that forgiveness is a process. It is not because you tell someone that you forgive them that this is the case. You will have to work there a little every day. However, you will manage to stick to it if you pronounce it out loud.
Your part is to forgive. Do it first for yourself, for your inner peace and quiet. Hate has never been beneficial for the person who practices it. So be happy to have forgiven someone even if this person did not deserve this pardon!
As a Conclusion
When we make the commitment to forgive someone: moving on to something else should be the last thing to do. But it would be wise to know why you need to move on and what does that entail.
Indeed, moving on to something else means that we have become aware of what forgiving implies. This is not to close your eyes on the fault, nor to act as if nothing had happened. No, it’s just no longer considering what happened. In other words, we resolve to ignore the past because we made the best choice to forgive.
Besides, moving on to something else means that you have thought about the benefits of forgiveness. That said you have decided to take over your negative emotions. Know that Leaving anger and resentment aside will help you stay calm, healthier, and happier (Proverbs 14:30, Matthew 5: 9). More importantly, forgiving others is essential for God to forgive your own sins (Matthew 6:14, 15).
By the way, moving on to something else explains that you have decided to be understanding. We are all imperfect (James 3: 2). Just as we love to be forgiven, so must we forgive others (Matthew 7:12). When we come to have things in this form, then we find the strength not only to forgive but also to move forward.
Finally, moving on to something else, explain the fact that you have decided to be reasonable … When our subject of the complaint is minor, we can apply this Bible advice: ” Keep supporting each other ” (Colossians 3:13).
In addition to being the final step when it comes to how to forgive someone, ” move on ” is a continual action. It allows us over time to better heal the wound we received during treason, wrongdoing, or disappointment.
Forgive each other! And you would be happy! May God bless you and help you to go forward by forgiving others!