‘When friendship hurts‘ is based on extensive research by the author Jan Yager, sociologist and friendship expert. The book provides tips on how, when, and why to break up bad friendships and how to make positive friendships that improve our lives at all levels. Of course, this is also a book about investing more time and energy into existing good friendships. Many real-life examples also distinguish her.
Friendship is a critical area of human life. Some people have even replaced the ideal of ‘partner for life with the model of ‘lifelong friend.’ Of course, this ideal is good at positive friendship, but not all friendships are the same, nor are they equally good.
The fact is that friendships can also have less bright, even darker sides and that as societies change, forms of friendships change as well. It hurts when friendship is broken – whether it is broken only by simple alienation or more pain, treachery, and deceit. But maybe even we are the ones who, either accidentally or unwillingly, hurt or cheated on our friend. Understanding both sides of the story is equally important for understanding and identifying patterns.
The book ‘When Friendship Hurts’
The book ‘When Friendship Hurts’ is intended for anyone who has ever wondered how to deal with the circumstances of being hurt, rejected, or abandoned. The book provides tips for understanding and dealing effectively with troubled friendships.
- How to identify annoying friends and how to find good friends
- Who is a friend?
- Abuse of friendship, trust
- We make friends for ourselves
- Can anything hurt more than betraying a good friend?
- Is it all my fault alone?
- I’m wounded; how to deal with pain and broken friendship
- What are my role models in making and maintaining friendships?
- How email has turned friendships for the better and for the worse
- Did friendship only later develop into a harmful direction?
- Have we really ever been real friends?
- How to end a friendship?
The Book ‘When Friendship Hurts’ Based on Extensive Research
The book is based on extensive research by the author Dr. Jan Yager, who is a sociologist and friendship expert. The book provides tips on how, when, and why to break up bad friendships and how to make positive friendships that improve our lives at all levels. Of course, this is also a book about how to invest more time and energy into existing good friendships. Many real-life examples also distinguish her.
21 Different Types of Friends
The book describes 21 different types of friends who are potential negative friends. For example, a competitor is envious to the point where he is capable of malicious acts. Your blood-sucking friend expects you to be present all the time. The supervisor has to control everything from where you meet someone and to whom you are seeing. Each type of friend is described in detail and also how we should treat such a friend to be best for us.
The author provides strategies for maintaining friendship and warns against extreme behavior. The book lists and describes triggers that lead to friendship conflicts, such as jealousy, anger, and changes (e.g., marital status, employment, weight).
Maybe You Have to Change Your Habits
By getting to know your friends, you will also be able to learn about your own divisive or harmful qualities and identify patterns in your family that affect your friendships. You will recognize and understand why you make negative friendships and change your habits as needed.
The author outlines some techniques that devoted friends can use when processing negative patterns that ruin their relationships. It also explains how to identify a friendship that is really so divisive that it has to end, and how to actually finish it, how to define ‘harmful’ people before you make friends with them, and how to deal with the workplace friendships for which the author is convinced that she should not develop into close friendships.
This valuable book “When friendship hurts” will benefit everyone who is struggling with painful friendships. It will help them to see that betrayal in friendship is happening and that there is no need to be ashamed of it. For some people, acknowledging a broken friendship is almost as tricky as admitting that their marriage has fallen apart.