Problems, we have encountered, we encounter, and we will always encounter. But how to get above your problems in everyday life?
The important thing is to know how to deal with the blows and difficulties of life since we are willing or unwilling to come to terms with life. To better advance towards achieving your goals in this year 2021, I decided to tackle the following theme: How to get above your problems?
To say that we have no problems in our life to solve is pitifully deluding ourselves and putting our finger in the eye. Every man has problems, whether they are small problems or not. It is indisputable that problems are part of human existence. So the most important thing is to put yourself above your problems. And this is a very important point to move forward in life and achieve your goals in life.
There is no point in running away from obstacles, it is better to face them, and even more so to get above them. Listen, “you can’t stop problems (hardships) from ‘getting’ on you, but you can keep them from ‘going out’ to you.” (Thomson Dablemond).
Stop Complaining
When you stop complaining about being faced with difficulties, seeing the inevitability of any problem, giving up when an obstacle arises, feeling sorry for an annoying situation: this is when you will make every trial of life: a ladder to reach your goals and make your dreams come true.
Faced with the difficulties of life, we have two choices: either we endure it or we experience it. If we consider them as a fatality, a punishment, negativity, certainly, we will not come out transformed, but rather annihilated and slaves to the blows of life. But when we think of them as experiences to go through in order to reach the best version of us, we come out of them equipped to achieve even the unachievable and the unthinkable.
Note this thought well: “The problems we encounter are just the wrapping of messages or the precious gifts that life places at our disposal. (Existential Mentalotherapy.)
You must understand that there are only things in your life that you will only understand by overcoming trials. It is this spirit, this mental therapeutic thought, that I would like to communicate to you, through this series of posts entitled: How to put oneself above one’s problems?
In this post, I will ignore the ” why ” (the causes) and focus on the ” how ” (the solutions). Why, because I would like you to focus on your goals and get to the point.
How to Get Above Your Problems in Everyday Life?
I – Change Your Outlook on the Problems in Everyday Life
Between those who transcend their problems and those who suffer from them, of course, the difference lies in the way each of them looks at the problem. In other words, your first asset in putting yourself above your problems remains in the fact that you have a favorable outlook on the problem itself. And this in 3 points namely:
Look at the Contents, Not at the Containers
More often than not, we like to focus on the appearance of the problem. We find it big, difficult, complicated, and hermetic. Yet, it is better to dwell on the opportunity or the message contained in the problem you are facing in your life. No matter what package a problem presents itself in, you should always look for the bright side, the positive side, and embrace that positivity. It will help you put yourself on top of your problems.
Look at Every Problem as a Way Out of Your Comfort Zone
Every problem we encounter in life teaches us that we can do things, and live differently. So the problems force you to find different options.
Indeed, one of the important contributions that our problems make to us is that they force us out of our “comfort zone”. That is to say, they push us to do unusual things, even things that we would previously have called “crazy” or “impossible”.
Thus, the problems present themselves as means of innovation and reconstruction of our way of life, vision of life and mentality of life.
And when you look at any problem as a way to learn things differently, it puts yourself on top of your problems. In fact, the problems come to help us find other alternatives, and why not even better ones.
Look at Any Problem as a Red Flag
Listen! Our problems can be compared to alarm systems. They are warning us that something is wrong. We can take that into account or not. But until we take it to heart to look at what’s wrong with you, in us, or in our life, the problems will persist. And the turn signals will become more vivid.
If you want to put yourself on top of your problems, the main thing is not to ask yourself or to complain in these terms: “Why is this problem happening to me?!” On the contrary: “Thank heaven, life for giving you the opportunity to know that something is wrong with your life.” ”
Having this kind of look at your problems, you would be more oriented towards solutions, responsibility, maturity, and rationality. This will undoubtedly allow you to put yourself above your problems.
Understand that whatever the type of problem (relational, economic, physical, social, etc.), they all have something in common: they force us to review our methods. So, see in every problem an opportunity to improve yourself. In fact, every problem tells us that we have something to fix in our life.
In Mentalotherapy, we maintain this: “Life is the greatest teacher, it tends to confront us with problems for the purpose of our development. So consider each problem as a learning exercise, especially improvement, self-improvement in the sense of your excellence and success.
II- Optimize Your Attitude to the Problems in Everyday Life
One of the ways to put yourself above your problems is to optimize your attitude, that is to say, adopt a positive attitude – knowing how to interpret the reality of the problem – and finally, take your responsibilities. . The attitude we have towards a problem refers to the position, the feeling that we have of the problem. And that is very important as it pulls you up or down.
Adopt the Attitude of a Winner
One of the ways to get over your problems is to adopt the attitude of the winner and the confident.
If the problem is in the attitude, change the attitude. Don’t behave like a loser if you want to win; that of a desperate, if you expect a miracle. Likewise, when you are in a problem, put yourself in the shoes (position and feeling) of someone who has already found the solution to their problem. This will make your mind more fertile in receiving possible solutions.
Most often our attitude is not in line with what we want as the outcome for a given problem. And this mismatch makes us languish under the weight of the problem.
Knowing How to Interpret the Reality of the Problem
To get above a problem, you have to learn to interpret realistically, rationally, and optimistically the problem you are facing. Speaking of interpretation, I am referring to the explanation, the induction, the conclusion, or the fact of drawing some indication, some omen from something. Thus, our interpretation of the reality of the problem becomes our reality. When we find that the problem is a dead end: the chances of taking the problem to heart and finding a solution become limited. When we find that the problem is absolutely against us, we reduce our energies and our level of motivation to come out of the problem with our heads held high.
Take Responsibility for the Problems in Everyday Life
When faced with a problem, the first resolution to take is to take responsibility. Don’t wait for the first miracle to come from outside. You are the first concerned, do not shy away from your responsibility. You can ask for outside help but basically, look for the solutions within yourself. Because you are both the problem and the solution to your problems. You own the key to making your problems easier or worse. Until you realize that you have your share of responsibility for solving the problem, you cannot put yourself on top of your problems.
III – Channel Your Focus and Your Perception Around the Problems in Everyday Life
The human mind is designed in such a way that when faced with a problem, we always tend to necessarily focus on a fact, a detail, or a part of the problem; and this impacts our perception of the problem.
About Focus
The individual who understands, decides, makes choices based on his feelings, impressions and emotions will certainly have an emotional focus. In this case, it becomes attached to the appearance, to the feelings, to what is causing a sensation around the problem.
However, if you focus on the size, shape, feel, impressions – the outward appearance of the problem, you may be on the wrong track. Because the appearance is deceptive.
For the individual who understands, decides, and makes choices under the cover of rationality: He attaches himself to details, to facts and tries to draw lessons, orientations, and elements of resolution by analyzing the problem. If you focus on the rationality, the facts around the problem: you will be able to do better. Why? Because each problem that we encounter subjects us to reflection, an objective analysis since each problem is a message to be deciphered. So when we focus on the message to be deciphered, we put ourselves above our problems and we take a big step towards its resolution.
About Perception
In a problem, all the elements that constitute it are not necessarily essential. There are things that if you focus on that, they’re not going to get anywhere because they’re just here to digress. And this is where you focus, you will see that your perception will be wrong.
Listen! Every problem has a knot. This is where you need to focus. Thus, you will have a clear perception of the problem. The more you have an objective perception of a problem, the more likely you are to get the better of it.
Pay attention to your inner language. When you are faced with a problem and you have negative self-talk, you put yourself in a state of acute stress, you get depressed. In fact, problems frighten us more and more when we have thoughts of negativity, uncertainty, and dread.
On the other hand, when we allow ourselves to be animated by a positive inner discourse, we obviously develop a positive perception vis-à-vis the problem. And this stirs up our confidence in ourselves and in God, the serenity of the soul, and triggers in us the rage to emerge victorious from the problem.
IV. Ask Yourself Objectively and Be Proactive
On the one hand, one cannot achieve the resolution of a problem without question. And on the other hand, it is by projecting ourselves onto the finality of the problem that we attract favorable outcomes.
Examples of objective questions about a current situation that you want to improve
* What attitude could you assume or change that would significantly improve the situation?
* What can you admit to having done or being done to create or make the problem worse?
* You may be feeling pain, sadness, or disappointment but, despite everything, what benefit have you found or could you gain from this problem?
* What specific action can you take to overcome this obstacle?
* Which of your inner qualities and resources can you use to turn your problem into success?
Be Anticipatory
Get ahead of the problem. Precisely, it is not to focus on the twists and turns of a problem, but rather on the outcome … That is to say, project on a happy ending of the situation you are going through. Here it implies that in your mental (thoughts) and emotional (feelings, emotions) life you have to start celebrating your victory. It is a way of attracting the positive about the problem to you.
I end this post by leaving you this powerful message: “No difficulty is greater than the abilities, resources, and possibilities that you have within you, with you, and around you to overcome it. You just need to dare to face it. ” – Thomson Dablemond
To your triumph,
Thomson Dablemond
Personal Development Coach
Author, Speaker, Mentalotherapist