You are a parent. You have one or more children. You care about their well-being as well as their growth. You care about their education and their success in life. You are probably aware of the importance of emotional intelligence for your child. You are committed to contributing to the development of your child’s emotional intelligence. Your intention is already good. Try to answer the emotional intelligence questionnaire in this article to be assured that your way to becoming a good parent is effective and fruitful.
Raising a child to be emotionally intelligent is not an easy task. You need a lot of application, determination, diligence, perseverance and above all the desire to instill such an education.
Keep in mind that you also need to learn not just what emotional intelligence is, but how to apply and instill it in your child.
Are you sure you are doing this noble task of emotional intelligence education to your child? Are you up to it? Whether it is the case or not, it does not matter! Through this article, take the emotional intelligence questionnaire. Examine yourself for better guidance. But before you submit this emotional intelligence questionnaire for parents, I would like to draw your attention to emotional intelligence and the parent-child relationship.
Emotional Intelligence and Parent-Child Relationship
Emotional intelligence is the main ingredient of any good relationship, including the parent-child relationship. When you understand how your child feels you can adjust your attitude and give him precise feedback.
When a child feels understood, he is much more likely to cooperate, negotiate and obey. For that, you have to practice putting words on your own emotions first. A child will not learn to verbalize his emotions if no one around him shows him how to do it.
Putting words on one’s emotions does not mean that one accepts all behaviors; on the other hand, we have no value judgment to express the feelings of others. There is no good or bad emotion. All emotions are real and valid.
When your child develops a vocabulary of emotions, he immediately feels relieved and controls difficult situations more easily.
To develop the emotional intelligence of their child, parents must first recognize their emotional needs from an early age. It starts with saying such phrases as “You are angry, you are sad”. This will help the child put a name on his emotions. Parents are invited to do the same for their own feelings: “I’m angry; I’m going to calm down”.
For the little ones, it can also involve role-playing games: “What would the bear have done in this situation, would he have fought?”
Finally, it is extremely important that after a crisis, parents take the time to analyze the situation with the child, and teach him how to manage it in the future.
Emotional Intelligence Questionnaire for Parents
What are you already doing to raise an emotionally intelligent child and what else can you do? Find out through this emotional intelligence questionnaire if you are qualified to be a good parent.
1. Do you hide serious problems for your child?
No. The majority of psychologists believe that parents should not hide serious problems from their youngest children. Children are much more flexible than we think and benefit from realistic explanations of the problems.
2. Do you openly discuss your mistakes?
Yes. To become realistic in their thinking and expectations, children must learn to accept the positive attributes and defects of their parents.
3. Does your child watch more than twelve hours of television a week?
No. The average child is actually watching 24 hours a week of television, and that is too much. This passive activity does very little to promote the abilities in Emotional Intelligence (IE). Violent TV programs are particularly problematic for children who have difficulty controlling their anger.
4. Do you have a computer at home?
Yes. At one time it was believed that computers and games exerted a detrimental influence on the social development of the child, but it seems that the opposite is true. Children (and adults) are finding new ways to use computation and online services (Internet) that actually increase the capabilities of Intellectual Quotient (IQ).
5. Are you optimistic?
Yes. Studies show that children who are optimistic are happier, they are more successful at school, and they are actually healthier physically. The basic form in which your children develop an optimistic or pessimistic attitude is by watching you and listening to you.
6. Do you help your child make friends?
Yes. Researchers in the field of child development believe that having a ‘best friend’, especially between the ages of 9 and 12, is a critical development point in learning to have intimate relationships. Teaching skills to cultivate friends should start as soon as your child starts walking.
7. Do you control the violent content of your child’s television programs and video games?
Yes. Although there is no clear evidence that watching violent television programs or playing with violent video games leads to aggression, it can be argued that it makes them desensitized about feelings. and the concern of others.
8. Do you spend 15 minutes a day or more with your child in unstructured games or activities?
Yes. Lamentably, today’s parents spend less and less time with their children. Dedicating a certain amount of time to play with the youngest and in unstructured activities with older sons enhances their self-image and confidence.
9. Do you have clear and consistent ways to discipline your child and enforce the rules?
Yes. Authoritarian parents could prevent a significant number of problems currently experienced by children. Being parents in an authoritarian form by combining stimulation with consistent and appropriate discipline. Many experts believe that totally permissive parents are the cause of a growing number of childhood problems, including provocative and antisocial behavior.
10. Do you regularly participate in community service activities with your child?
Yes. Children learn to care for others by doing, not just talking. Community service activities also teach children a lot of social skills and help them stay away from inconveniences.
11. Are you sincere and honest with your child, even with respect to painful issues such as illness or loss of employment?
Yes. Many parents to protect their children from stress, to preserve the innocence of their childhood, are not, but in reality, it produces more damage than good. Children who have not actually learned to deal with stress become vulnerable to more serious problems as they grow up, especially in their relationships.
12. Do you teach your child to relax as a way to deal with stress, pain or anxiety?
Yes. You can learn forms of relaxation even for children of 4 or 5 years old. It will not help them deal with immediate problems but can help them live longer and in a more healthy way.
13. Do you talk to your child when he has trouble solving a problem?
No. According to the investigations, children can solve problems well before what is believed. When children learn to solve their own problems, they develop self-confidence and learn important social skills.
14. Do you have regular family reunions?
Yes. Children use role models as the single most important form of learning emotional and social skills. Family meetings are a great way to learn how to solve problems and work in a group.
15. Do you want your child to always have good manners with others?
Yes. Good manners are easy to learn and extremely important for school and social success.
16. Have you taken the time to teach your children to perceive the humor of everyday life, including their problems?
Yes. An increasing number of studies show that a sense of humor is not only an important social capacity but also a significant factor in the child’s mental and physical health.
17. Are you flexible with your child’s study habits and organizational needs?
No. It is necessary to be flexible in many aspects, but not with respect to study habits and work skills. To be successful at school and later at work, your children need to learn self-discipline, time management, and organizational skills.
18. Do you encourage your child to continue to persevere, even when he complains that something is too difficult or even when he fails?
Yes. One of the most important ingredients for becoming a great director is the ability to overcome frustration and maintain a persistent effort in the face of failure. In general, parents do not require sufficient effort for their children.
19. Do you want your child to maintain a healthy diet and daily exercise?
Yes. In addition to the obvious physical benefits of a good diet and exercise, a healthy lifestyle is an important part of the biochemistry of your developing brain.
20. Do you know when your child does not tell the truth, even in a minor case?
Yes. The understanding of sincerity is changed in children as they grow up, but in a familiar setting, one should always emphasize being truthful.
21. Do you respect your child’s privacy, even if you think that he or she is doing something harmful for himself and others?
No. When raising children, intimacy and trust go hand in hand. At any age, children should understand the difference between what can be kept private and what you need to know.
22. Do you allow your child’s teacher to deal with motivation problems at school without your participation?
No. Motivation starts at home. The more parents participate in the education of their children, the more likely the children will be successful.
23. Do you think you should be more tolerant of your children’s problems since you have the same or similar?
No. It does not seem surprising that children often have the same problems as their parents. If you are fighting serious topics like depression or bad temper, you should look for ways to change both your own behavior and that of your son.
24. Do you leave your child alone if he does not want to talk about something that irritates or disturbs him?
No. Very few children like to talk about what’s bothering them, but from the perspective of emotional intelligence, you should encourage your children to talk about their feelings. Talking about problems and using words for feelings can change the way children’s brains develop, forming links between the emotional part and the thinking part of the brain.
25. Do you believe that every problem has a solution?
Yes. Children, as well as adolescents and adults, can be taught to seek solutions instead of dilating problems. This positive form of seeing the world can improve your son’s self-confidence and relationships.
Source of this Emotional Intelligence Test: Excerpt from Lawrence Shapiro’s book “L’Intelligence Emotionnelle des Enfants ” [The Emotional Intelligence of Children].