” Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged on the land which the LORD your God gives you. ” (Exodus 20:12).

God in his love and wisdom, having finished dealing with the question of the relationship between God and humans in the first four commandments; he then dedicates the other six to human relationships  – starting with the relationship between parents and their children.

The Fifth Commandment Deals with the Relationship Between Parents and Their Children

The fifth commandment deals with the relationship between parents and their children from the ground up. It is for children. And for good reason: it’s not everyone who gets married, and many people never become parents but all of us are sons and daughters. Our relationship with our parents, whether there is one or not, affects each of us positively or negatively until the last day of our lives. And that is precisely what is mentioned in the fifth commandment. It’s about attitude and relationships.

In reality, we cannot change the reality in which we are born. We do not have the opportunity to choose our parents, nor can we transform them as we would have liked them to be. […] Although it is impossible for us to choose our parents, our attitude towards them depends on us.

God Holds Parents Responsible for the Souls

Parents are entitled to a degree of affection and respect that is not due to any other person. God holds them responsible for the souls he has entrusted to them, and he commands them to take his place with their children during the first years of their lives. He who rejects the legitimate authority of his parents, therefore, rejects the authority of God. According to the fifth commandment, children must not only respect and obey their parents, but also surround them with affection and tenderness, lighten their load, watch over their reputation, and be the support and consolation of their old age. . This commandment also includes the care due to pastors and magistrates, as to all those to whom God has entrusted some authority.

Speaking of this precept, the apostle Paul writes that ” it is the first commandment with a promise ” (Ephesians 6: 2). For Israel, who was expecting to enter the land of Canaan soon, the promise envisioned a long life in this good country. But it goes further: it addresses all the Israel of God to whom is promised eternal life on purified earth of the curse of sin.

How we feel about our parents – our attitude towards them – our feelings when we think of them – will profoundly define the relationship we have with all authority and to a lesser extent, all men. And in all likelihood, it will affect our relationship with God.

The principle laid down in the Fifth Commandment is a powerful foundation for academic, professional and even married life success. In fact, the first time the Bible mentions marriage, it describes it as leaving one’s father and mother to cling to one’s wife (Genesis 2:24). So the Bible sees marriage as transference and in a sense a chain of relationship that began with parents.

It Is Necessary to Have The Relationship Between Parents and Their Children

People who have significant problems with the parents and who have remained unsolved come into the marriage with a serious disability and they are likely to have problems in other areas of life as well. This is why the command dealing with the relationship between parents and their children says that if we honor our father and our mother our life will ” extend into the country it gives us “.   This means that a healthy relationship with our parents is the foundation of a good relationship, peace of mind and success in our life.

In the fifth commandment, in Ephesians 6: 1-4, Colossians 3: 20-21, the Bible clearly states that the duty of children to honor their parents goes hand in hand with the obligation of parents to their children … We read :

# To parents: ” And you, parents, do not push your children to revolt, but to raise them, correct them and give them guidance from the Lord.” Ephesians 6: 4.But you, fathers, do not provoke your children, so as not to discourage them.” Colossians 3:21.

# To children: ” Children, obey your parents, as the Lord wills, it is your duty.Ephesians  6: 1. ” Children, obey your parents in all things, that is how you will please the Lord.” Colossians 3:20..

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Honoring Your Parents

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Gayle Jackson in his remarkable book, Honoring Parents, has given us a biblically based book on why and how to honor our parents.

What Is the Sense of the Obedience of Children to Parents?

When some people, including parents, hear the word ‘obedience’ they immediately think of control. […] They interpret this as the operation of a machine when you open the valves or when you press the start button. But the obedience that comes from an attitude of ‘honor’ is an intelligent response, the expression of love and respect and not an automatic submission to authority. Consider Proverbs 6: 20-22.

No. On the contrary, parents must lead children to consider Deuteronomy 30: 15-20 so as to bring the child’s obedience so that he will glorify God and take the path that God wants. We educate a child, we raise a child according to the will of God. By obeying parents, the child must be obedient to God and not dishonor God by disobeying him. […]

As part of the relationship between parents and their children, It is clear that a system of discipline based on coercion and punishment is not the answer. Obedience that does not appeal to reasoning and the participation of an autonomous will is not ‘honoring’.

Slavery

If you want to have in your children, the answer that arises from their own reasoning, their own intelligence and their goodwill from a very young age are as possible (and some cases earlier and as often as it seems comfortable), we must begin to appeal to these noble faculties, reminding ourselves that our aim is not to control them but to encourage an attitude of honor.

Honor Is an Attitude of the Heart

Read Proverbs 23:25. In the relationship between parents and their children, it is good that we consider this fact: Honoring parents means that we will make them feel at ease as we are when we do it and help them carry out their responsibilities towards us. The Fifth Commandment recommends that we take off our boxing gloves and get off the ring to listen to advice, say good things about the parents and look for ways to show them our affection and respect.

The Children’s Duty to Their Parents

The greatest honor we can bring to our parents is not by speaking or adorning their flower graves but being the right people we need to be. This is the meaning of honoring our parents in the sense of the relationship between parents and their children.

Of course, even the death of our parents does not exempt us from the obligation to honor them. What we do and our way of life can give them joy and honor their memories. We can live in a way that expresses gratitude for what they represent and for what we have received from them.

Conclusion on the Relationship Between Parents and Their Children

the family and socialization

Taking into account the will of our offspring does not imply an irresponsible abandonment of our authority as a parent. That does not mean we have to let them make choices as early as possible in their lives. We need to look for areas where they can really make the right choices.

Continue the study of the Ten Commandments by clicking on the following link: God’s Sixth Commandment – Thou Shalt Not Kill

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