At the beginning of the marriage, everything seems ideal. Qualities of a good wife and husband are not yet important. Husband and wife love each other and want to spend as much time with each other as possible. They enjoy every moment they spend together. However, feelings change over time without them, even knowing why. Suddenly, the things that used to make them happy become boring. At first, it seems shocking to the spouse, but realizing that no matter how hard he tries, he can’t change anything, he gets used to it and starts living with it; thinking that it is so in every marriage, that it is merely life, and that nothing can be changed there. As time goes on, some spouses lose the desire to try to change anything… Then some spouses can’t wait for their husband or wife to leave the house, at least for a short time, to go somewhere to finish their obligations or something similar so that they “take a break.” They became a burden to each other instead of pleasure.
Genesis 2: 18-21 says, “The Lord God then said, It’s not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper to supplement him… That is why the Lord God put a deep sleep on the man, and while the man was sleeping, he took one of his ribs and then filled that place with meat.”
A woman is created to be his best friend, someone who will sympathize and help her husband. The woman is created to be with him when it is difficult for him, to encourage him, to comfort him, to serve him, to have his heart rely on her, to encourage and support him in the fact that only Christ is worth thinking about. The woman is here to love him. Only in true love can all the qualities of a good wife be revealed.
Qualities of a Good Husband
On the other hand, the husband is the protection of the wife full of love and understanding. A husband is someone next to whom she will feel loved, cared for, safe, hardworking, respected, satisfied, and happy. The wife is there, as well as the husband, when the “soul has to be opened” and says what cannot be said to any other person, our thoughts, the deepest feelings, on what we are not proud of, or we are proud. This is how I see Christian marriage.
When you sincerely love someone, you will do everything to make that person happy, to make her beautiful every day when she wakes up and sees you. You will take care of her. You will not do anything that you know bothers or dislikes that person. You will give up everything that will hurt that person, and you will do this with pleasure. You will be happy when that person is happy and sad when she is sad.
You Want to Be What Solomon Says
In our personal relationship with God, we will not do anything that we know is not pleasing to God. It is not out of fear of punishment; it is out of love for Him. It is the same in marriage. You don’t want to do anything that you know your husband doesn’t like, and that’s out of love for him. You want him to go somewhere and think of you that he is happy that he can’t wait to get home, that he’s having a good time while you spend time together. You want to give up your desires in favor of his, to be kind to him, to be satisfied, and when he is satisfied, then so are you. You want to create a home as an attractive place of joy. You want to be what Solomon says because qualities of a good wife are hidden in those wise words.:
“Who will find a great woman? It is worth much more than pearls. Her husband’s heart relies on her, and the gain will not be lacking. He returns only good, not evil, all the days of his life. She is looking for wool and linen, and her hands gladly accept every job. Strength and honor are her clothing, and she smiles at the day to come. She opens her mouth wisely, and the law of goodness is on her tongue. He takes care of all his household and does not eat the bread of laziness. Her sons get up and call her happy; her husband gets up and praises her: Many women are excellent, but you surpass them all. Charm may be false and beauty vain, but a woman who fears the Lord deserves praise.” (Proverbs 31: 10-13: 25-30)
Read more biblical advice about the marriage here.
Invite Jesus Into Your Marriage
In such a marriage, no one tries to make the other person satisfied or happy anymore, but they both want to satisfy only their needs. They live with a person in the same house, physically close but spiritually separated, as if they were some business partners. The cause of dissatisfaction is actually that they are not connected to the One who can give them love because it is Love in itself. They do not have and do not want Jesus in their lives, and this is negatively reflected in their marriage and family.
Without Jesus, Satan Will Find His Way
In many marriages, things called trifles are often hidden from the spouses. The spouse is hiding something to protect himself. Things get under the rug because they think they won’t be known for anyway. But the one who hid knows his sin, and God knows, and Satan also knows. And Satan will find a way to show his spouse what was hidden from him when he needed it the least, and then it becomes much more uncomfortable for them than to say when the time was right. Through these hidden “little things” that I call deception, trust disappears, love is extinguished, and doubt arises.
Cheating Is Not the Only Problem
I believe that cheating on a spouse is not just what most people think, but any kind of manipulation or hiding. The enemy plays with their marriage and sinks them into even deeper darkness and dissatisfaction with life, which unfortunately leads them to, whether they admit it or not that they hate anyone they consider to have a good marriage.
Surrender Your Life to Jesus
Ask the Lord to change your life; there is one condition for that – to surrender your life to him. Surrender to the Lord everything you have, your desires, your thoughts, your heart, your spouse. Rely on Him and believe that He will fulfill the promises He made no matter how you feel today. Jeremiah 29: 11-13 “For I know what I intend to do with you,” says the Lord, “I intend to give you peace, not trouble, to provide you with a future and hope. You will call on me, you will come to me and pray to me, and I will answer you. You will look for me, and you will find me because you will look for me with all your heart. ”
You Can Only Be Happy With Your Spouse in the Presence of Jesus
This is a promise that I believe will be given to all who seek it. You ask God to cleanse you from all impurities, from anger towards your spouse, from manipulation, from lies, from hatred, and from the fact that it is difficult for you to forgive some things. You cannot be one with your spouse until you have Christ in your life, that is a fact, you cannot escape from it. Tell Him that from now on, He leads you in life; that He leads your spouse. Ask Him to convince both you and your spouse of what you are guilty of and to soften your heart so that you can talk about these things. Get all the hidden things out from under the carpet. The most important thing in your relationship with your spouse and with God is a conversation, prayer. Honesty can only bind you even more and strengthen your trust and love in your spouse, no matter how painful it may be.
The Force That Turned Water Into Wine Will Bring New Hope Into Your Relationship
Somewhere I once read a quote that instills hope, and that is that the same Force that turned water into wine will bring to life the dead parts of your marriage. Believe it. I believe that God always has a ready solution for us that is activated by prayer and faith. Ellen White was a woman who wrote many good things about marital relationships. In one of her books, “The Adventist Home,” among other things, she gave good advice: “Neither husband nor wife should try to rule over each other. Do not try to force each other to obey your wishes. You can’t do this and keep loving each other. Be kind, patient and lenient, considerate, and polite. By the grace of God, you will be able to make each other happy, as you promised in your marriage vows.”