How to keep the courage to be yourself in today’s world where everything afflicts you and forces you to give an image that is not yours and you risk being rejected, finding yourself alone and suffering?
What would you do in your life if you dared to be fully yourself? Free from the expectations of others, free from our fears, free from propriety … Our soul has a little place to express itself under so many barriers! And yet it is she who has the secret of our enthusiasm and our happiness.
What happens if we choose to remove the barrier from the eyes of others? This barrier that makes us act according to the expectations of society, like a mirror without a soul. The expectations of the other imprison us in a single vision of the world, sterile by definition.
The more the expectations are many and the more our field of freedom is limited! Why submit and reduce to others?
Is not the important thing to become creative: Creator of every moment, every word, every action?
It is precisely at this point that I challenge you: Have the courage to be yourself.
I have a childhood friend with whom I share almost everything today. He became like a little brother to me. I often happen to be his advisor. I am a source of motivation and inspiration for him. It is to him that I owe this article. For, it is by reflecting on how to help him in the direction of his personal development that I was confronted with the notion of ” freedom of oneself “. Indeed, I see in his skills, abilities, and strengths. He has potentials. But there is a handicap that prevents him from accessing the place that is due to him in life.
His problem is that he is afraid of being himself; he is afraid to assert himself; he tends to wallow in the judgment and appreciation of others. He deprives himself of himself. He is very indecisive. He does not know how to use his will. He prefers to hide what he wants instead of expressing it. He is so afraid of people’s criticisms that his life is conditioned by the eyes of others. He cannot live by his values and his conception of life. He forgets who he is! He does not care about his personality. He buried his life, his reason, his will at the expense of the influence of others in his life.
Finally, he seeks to be another person. Often, we come to the conclusion that he is not what he wants in his life. His life does not seem to make sense. He does not know where to go or what to do exactly. In short, he stopped living, he only exists now.
Yet when you approach him, you will feel that he is a wonderful person with a future. It is enough for him to return to himself and to express himself, to assert himself without constraints.
I understood how his problem was summed up: he had lost his freedom of self. Or what am I saying; he did not know what is about freedom of oneself. Or even he did not know the importance of self-freedom. The only thing he needed was to have the courage to be oneself.
So I started working with him in that direction. And since a short time, I see the satisfactory results. So, I decided to share this treasure with you!
Many people today are in such situations. You seem animated by a deep need of realization. It does not respond to external demand, but to an inner need. The challenge for you is important: to be and live in accordance with your values. This is not happening smoothly, no doubt. Moved by a strong inner freedom, you happen to assume your choices to the end, which is not necessarily comfortable for those around you. You rarely have to compromise …
For a long time, no doubt, have you felt this inner necessity, that of being oneself? A demanding choice that requires you both to take into account your deep needs, and to express the best of yourself. A path strewn with pitfalls, so little is it facilitated by the constraints of our present society, but which remains essential in the quest for identity: that which touches the essence of being and not the ego. It is indeed about freedom of oneself.
The self-quest is a path of inner freedom that often begins with self-knowledge. A job that is often done in therapy, but not only. To dare to be oneself, of course, demands to lift many inhibitions, but also more simply to give you time and to explore who you really are. Paint, sing, dance, cook, express your life swing!
Never lose sight of the fact that you must be the first person to know you and understand you.
But What Is ” Being Yourself”?
It is to advance in union with your soul, to make your way without fear, in the consciousness that you are accompanied.
It is daring to express your convictions without trying to convince, always in love and respect for others and for yourself.
It is daring to change, whether it is a place of life, surroundings, occupations if you do not feel comfortable if you have the impression to hover if you are sad.
It is accepting the experience of the other without wanting to change it, by asserting you as an entire being, and not half of …
It is finally to appreciate and love you as you are, with your qualities and your faults, which also make you grow.
It is to be in communion with the All because you are part of it.
You are totally free to be yourself.
This freedom is suggested to you every day by your soul.
Obviously, still in the consciousness of Unity.
However, you have learned what freedom is about yourself. But, how to achieve it? In other words, how to have the courage to be oneself?
Have the Courage to Be Yourself: How to Achieve Psychological Independence?
Indeed, that says construction of a personal freedom, said questioning of the eyes of others, focus on the daily priorities, development of the personal motivation and necessarily, a search of the psychological blooming.
But at a time when solidarity and tolerance are becoming scarce, how can we build ourselves? How to free ourselves from the weight values and societal constraints that push us to enter a mold that does not necessarily suit us?
To have the courage to be oneself, is it not precisely to become an entity in its own right, even if it means defying popular beliefs and not meeting collective expectations?
1. Have the Courage to Be Yourself by Setting Your Own Priorities
Depending on your personal situation (whether you have a job, whether you are a student or looking for a job), your daily requirements change.
The fact remains that certain obligations rest on you. However, these are sometimes barriers to the ability to update what it means to be oneself.
The unemployed have interviews where they are pushed to accept jobs which do not correspond to their personal desires, the students are pushed towards training according to the economic needs of the society (to such a point that a reform envisaged the suppression of the branches in France), and workers must follow stringent guidelines that prevent them from evolving properly.
The obstacles to defining what self really means are numerous and compelling. They are also reinforced by fear of risk and change. Nobody knows how our environment will react if we decide to express a refusal of adaptation.
In this context, it appears that the best way to be oneself is based on a capacity for introspection and the definition of one’s own needs, desires, and objectives. Take time to assess the gap between what is expected of you and what you really are.
To be oneself is to assume the passions that burn us from the inside, to take courage with both hands to assert one’s opinions.
Have you always dreamed of being intermittent while driving heavy trucks? It’s nothing more than the collective imagination that prevents you from taking the plunge, starting a new formation and launching new challenges!
To be oneself is simply to have the courage to follow one’s heart.
2. Be Yourself by Refusing the Compromise
How many people have a dream that they are not pursuing anymore or not? Is not this a negation of oneself? A refusal of self-assertion, and a lack of self-confidence and potential?
Surely, unexpected opportunities sometimes offer new options, new perspectives. But it is important that your choice of life is consistent with the notion of psychological balance.
It’s hard to imagine blossoming with a job you hate or moving to a city you do not like.
Compromises about your vision of the future must be limited to the maximum. To be oneself is also to refuse ease by respecting one’s personal goals engraved in the rock. The same ones who guide our existence, which push us to be actors and not spectators of our destiny.
3. to Be Oneself When Learning to Say No
To know how to say no is one of the keys to personal affirmation. It is obvious that in defining your own personality, in who you are and what you really want, you can not always be of service to others.
To be oneself is also to respect one’s freedom of choice and sometimes to make one’s own feelings a priority, a value that guides our decisions.
To limit oneself only to follow, to acquiesce and to be silent, is to refuse to exist fully and to favor the realization of our life projects.
It is quite obvious that following your will rather than others is a personal motivator and thus limits psychological disorders and the onset of stress.
So, it’s true, it may seem selfish, and this reflex that consists in knowing how to say no will have to be qualified by a certain flexibility. However, it must exist to be able to be oneself. The flexibility I am talking about obviously refers to your social or family life.
To say no should not be a systematic phenomenon, otherwise, you would lock yourself in solitude.
4. Being Self by Questioning External Judgments
This is probably the most important notion. On this planet, you are the only person who has the legitimacy to judge you.
Follow your desires, dare to demonstrate what you are, without worrying about external looks that are only psychological limitations.
To be oneself is not to play a role for fear of disappointment or not being up to it. The only solution you have is to assume your choices, to take responsibility, and this, without dwelling on the potential returns of your environment.
It may sound demagogic, but the following statements are full of meaning and truth:
There are no sub-trades.
Intelligence cannot be measured by academic success or professional success.
Your dreams will not come true if you do not give yourself the means to accomplish them.
It is not because we do not believe in you, that you are wrong or that you are unable to carry out your projects.
Being oneself is not fundamentally difficult to explain or even to understand. It is the adoption of this mechanism on a daily basis that poses a problem.
Conflicts, toxic relationships, lack of self-confidence … the consequences of refusing to accept your desires by your environment can be psychologically heavy to bear.
But never forget that nothing should prevent you from being faithful to your values and the pursuit of your dreams if you want them to come true!
Let it be said: to be oneself is to be free! Have the courage to be yourself!