Through this article, I simply want to tell you that you can still change your mind because you deserve to live. This is the purpose of this article entitled: “How to stop suicidal thoughts?”
I knew a number of people who wanted to kill themselves. In this article, I will not discuss whether you should kill yourself or not. I just think that if you think about it, you really have to suffer. This is often felt even in the deepest darkness of despair. To be in doubt about his death is normal. The fact you are still alive at this minute means that you are still a little uncertain. This means that while you want to die, at the same time, part of you wants to continue living.
Investigation of Suicidal Ideation
Young men were asked about suicide and this is what they told us:
* 1 in 7 or 8 young men confessed to having already had suicidal thoughts.
* About 1 in 15 youth reported having recent suicidal thoughts.
* About 1 in 14 have ever attempted suicide.
(Source: Youth Net / Teen Ottawa Network, 2010).
Here is what the young women interviewed said:
* Nearly one in three young women admitted to having suicidal thoughts.
* 1 in 7 or 8 young women reported having recent suicidal thoughts.
* A little more than one in 6 young women have ever attempted suicide.
(Source: Youth Net / Ado Network, 2010)
Although compared to young men, young women are twice as likely to attempt suicide; young men are three times more likely to commit suicide. These statistics are scary and must change. Suicide is an irreversible act, but your suffering and your difficulties are temporary. It is important to remember that you can get help and that you are not alone! How to deal with suicidal ideation?
How to Stop Suicidal Thoughts?
There are many things you can do to control suicidal thoughts. Although it may seem hard to imagine today, the situation can really improve. We offer 7 ways to deal with suicidal people.
1 – To Breathe
We often tend to underestimate this first step, but it is very important. If you have suicidal thoughts, stop your activities and chase away your thoughts with slow, deep breaths. Deep Breathing could be the first measure to Stop Suicidal Thoughts.
2 – To Get Help (Through Your Human Relations).
Others can help you in many ways. Entrusting your problems to a family member or friend may help to ease your tensions. Knowing what kind of help to ask can make things easier.
*** Think of People Around You Who Can:
– Just spend time with you, help you distract yourself, and keep you busy (like spending time together, going to see a movie, or going for a walk);
– Helping you to carry out practical activities such as preparing meals, doing laundry, or accompanying you to the doctor;
– Listen to you talk about your feelings and give you emotional support.
What Characterizes a Person Who Has the Sense of Listening?
A person who has this quality will listen to you express your feelings without judging you, criticizing you, or giving you unwanted advice. Do not be afraid to tell a parent, family member, or friend how they can help you. You could tell them:
– “Can we talk? I’m going through a really difficult time …”
– “For the moment, I only need you to listen to me … I do not need any advice. I’ll let you know if that’s the case … I just need to talk to someone …”
– “If I’m sad and I start crying, do not do anything, just hold me in your arms …”
– “Accept me as I am, without judging me – you have not lived the same situation …”
– “Just tell me you’re here for me …”
*** Think of People Who Can Support You.
– Someone with whom you can spend the time to change your mind.
– Someone who can help you in a practical way
– Someone who knows how to listen
If a face-to-face conversation seems difficult, you can try:
– to write a letter;
– to send an email;
– chat online via instant messaging;
– to communicate by text message.
3 – To G
et Help (By Professionals)
If you are having trouble confiding your thoughts to someone you know, consider hiring professionals who are used to helping people who are challenged with suicide, for example:
– your family doctor;
– the staff of walk-in clinics;
– telephone helpers;
– websites that offer online support …
4 – To Protect Yourself
If your thoughts or suicidal urges intensify, you can keep yourself safe by:
– surround yourself with people you like;
– Ask other people to eliminate from your environment anything that could be life-threatening or that might tempt you in a difficult time.
– do not use drugs or alcohol;
– take only those medications that have been prescribed by your doctor;
– call a crisis line. Line workers can provide support without judging you, and help you establish emergency plans if you think you are at risk…
5 – To be Distracted
If you have suicidal thoughts or impulses, try to distract yourself to help you through the present moment. You can practice activities that will change your ideas, help you control your emotions and change your behavior. Make a list of activities that you prefer that help you focus your attention. Try one of them for at least 30 minutes.
– Relaxation: take a bath or a shower, meditate, take a nap, treat yourself to a massage, practice yoga or mindfulness.
– Physical exercise: anything that allows you to move like walking, running, dancing, cycling, rollerblading, swimming. It’s even more effective if you practice this activity outdoors.
– Mental activity: read, watch a movie, try to solve a puzzle or make crossword puzzles, build something, make the pastry.
– Communication: talk to someone, meet someone, connect to the Internet or simply go out in the crowd.
Think about it! What other activities can help distract you when you are in a crisis?
6 – To Relax
Relax by indulging in an activity that pleasantly stimulates your senses.
– Hearing: listen to a piece of music that you like, or a relaxation CD, listen to your environment or nature.
– View: Watch an entertaining movie or TV show, read a book, search the Internet for images that inspire you, or old photos that make you happy, watch a piece of art that you enjoy.
– Taste: savor one of your favorite dishes, chew gum, suck a lollipop, drink tea or hot chocolate, or enjoy letting the chocolate melt in your mouth.
– Smell: breathe pleasant smells, like your favorite perfume, incense, or simply the external scents.
– Touch: put yourself at ease in your favorite pajamas, wrap your favorite stuffed animal (or your pet), take a hot bath or a cool shower.
7 – Rebuilding Your Life
You can go through a difficult time, but it is quite possible to lead the life you really want to live. However, you must proceed in stages. Ask yourself some questions first. What is most important to you? What would you hate to lose? What do you like most in your life? What do you like the least?
Choose something you would like to own, achieve, or improve (a goal). Get help to reach your goal, and discuss the steps you will need to take to get there. Here are some examples :
– Relationships: You can strive to improve your existing relationships, build new relationships, or end destructive relationships. Invest in your relationship with yourself by taking care of your body and refusing to listen to your negative thoughts.
– Activities or hobbies that make you feel good and have positive experiences. These may be familiar activities. But you can also try something new, join a club, or volunteer in a group (an effective way to meet people and make friends).
– Religion, faith, and spirituality. Whatever your beliefs, exploring your faith or spirituality can help you find meaning and purpose in your life.
Remember that getting enough sleep and eating well helps to cope with everyday difficulties. If your sleep is disrupted, try adopting a routine that will allow you to sleep at least eight and a half hours a night.
Good to Know:
{This part is from David L. Conroy, original text on metanoia.org – Translated and edited by Stéphane Barbery}.
“Suicide is not a choice, it is conducted when the pain exceeds the resources that can cope with it.”
In suicide, it is only that. You are not a hateful person, crazy, weak, or incapable, because you feel suicidal. Having dark thoughts does not even mean that you really want to die – it just means that you have more pain than resources to take care of it now. If I stack weights on your shoulders, you will collapse after a while if I add enough weight … no matter how much you want to stay up. (That’s why it’s so useless for people to say, “Stand up, keep your spirits up!” – you would, of course, if you could.)
Do not accept someone telling you, “there is nothing to be suicidal for that.” There are different kinds of suffering that can lead to suicide. Whether the pain is bearable or not differs from one person to another. What can be bearable for someone may not be for you? The limit where pain becomes unbearable depends on the kind of resources you have. Individuals are very different in their ability to withstand pain.
When the pain exceeds the resources that make it possible to cope with it, the result is suicidal thoughts, “black thoughts”. Suicide is then neither false nor true; it is not a fault of character; there is no reason to judge him morally. It is simply an imbalance of pain in relation to the resources that make it possible to confront them.
You Can Survive Suicidal Feelings If You Do Either of These Two Things:
(1) Find a way to reduce pain, or (2) Find a way to increase your resources to cope. Or both, at the same time.
1 – The first thing you need to hear is to know what we are doing. People who were suffering as much as you are right now have escaped. So you have a very good chance of getting out of it. I hope this information can give you some hope.
2 – The second thing I want to suggest is to give you perspective. Tell yourself, “I’ll wait 24 hours before doing anything.” Or a week. Remember that sensations and actions are two different things – that you feel like you want to kill yourself, does not mean you have to do it now. Put a distance between your suicidal feelings and a passage to the act. Even if it’s only 24 hours. […] Recognize that while you are still feeling suicidal, you are not currently acting in that direction.
3 – The third thing is this: we often think of suicide to find relief to his pain. We do not want to die but to stop suffering. Remember that relief is a sensation. And you must be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately sought if you are dead.
4 – The fourth thing is this: some will react badly to your suicidal feelings because they are frightened or angry; these people may even increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, saying or doing unthinking things. You must understand that their negative reactions have to do with their own fears, not with you.
But there are also people who can be with you during these difficult times. They will not judge you, will not try to contradict you. They will simply pay attention to you. Find one.
Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what’s going on for you. It is normal to be able to ask for help one day. Do you have suicidal thoughts?
– Call a specialized hotline, or
– Call a specialized center near you, or
– Look in the directory to call a psychotherapist (psychoanalyst, psychologist, psychiatrist),
– Look for someone who can listen to you. But above all do not carry the extra burden of trying to take care of this alone. Just talking about what brought you here can take away a lot of the pressure on you, and maybe that’s just the extra resource you need to get back into balance.
5 – The last thing I want you to know now is this: suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After their disappearance, you need to continue to take care of yourself. Starting therapy is really a good idea.