Who never knows challenged? Who never coping with guilt and shame because of sickness? Who never knows asked questions: “Why me? Or “Am I strong enough? Or “am I a good person?” One is even tempted to say to oneself: “I am only a good for nothing” or “I do not have good luck in life” or “I have no use in this life “. Just, because we feel desperate and stagnate under the weight of guilt and shame.
Such thoughts or questions usually occupy the minds of those affected. This can lead to real emotional problems. It is also common to believe that one gets sick because one is weak. In this sense, illness and guilt are a macabre combination of people who, in addition to dealing with health problems, both physical and psychological, have to bear the fact of being sick.
In this context, we see the link between illness and guilt. Indeed, guilt is a very particular form of fear. If it is cultivated since our earliest childhood, it can block our emotional development, causing health problems. Self-condemnation and self-invalidation are unique to people who feel guilty about their illnesses.
It is right that a researcher could say: “Out of ninety diseases, fifty are born of guilt and forty of ignorance. “- Paolo Mantegazza –
On the other hand, the feeling of guilt is normally an unconscious program that conditions our lives. It makes us live situations of suffering. He hides in self-destructive behaviors, in sudden and inexplicable failures, in the loss of valuable relationships, in sources of work and success. If, in addition to that, we suffer from an illness, everything can get worse.
I – Coping with Guilt and Shame at Mental Disorders
If there are certain diseases that are particularly related to guilt, it is mental disorders. They do not receive the understanding and support of people with physical problems, such as cancer or multiple sclerosis.
Mental disorders, like other diseases, are not chosen by people. In addition to the suffering and misunderstanding that many people feel, there is the fear and scorn of others, who are unable to understand what is happening to them.
Did you know? Psychological pain and emotional pain are less dramatic than physical pain. But they are just as common and more difficult to bear. People with mental disorders are not monsters.
Psychiatric stigma may be the most significant factor that negatively affects the process of therapeutic research and rehabilitation. It interferes with access to treatment and compliance with medical prescriptions, making it harder for effective social reintegration and a return to normal life.
In addition, stigma and social exclusion contribute significantly to individual suffering. This can worsen the evolution and prognosis of the disease. On the one hand, it does so by taking the form of an individual attribute that links the person with mental disorders to certain undesirable characteristics or negative stereotypes. And, on the other hand, it functions as a socially constructed product through the adjudication of stereotypes and rejection by the group or society in general.
From this angle, we reach Adam Ant in these terms: “Mental health requires a lot of attention. This is a big taboo that must be confronted and resolved. “.
II – Coping with Guilt and Shame: Why Do the Sick Feel Guilty?
How can a person feel guilty about his illness? How can a cancer patient feel guilty for not tolerating treatment? These are questions that are hard to answer. The explanation could be this: in situations that have high emotional content, emotions are more persuasive than logic.
These feelings can sometimes be justified, as in the relationship between lung cancer and smoking. In many situations, what is clear is too much of an attempt to control ourselves and everything around us. In these cases, we may even fall victim to the illusion of control, which makes us feel responsible for things that are not in our hands.
People who suffer from this bias feel responsible for everything and everyone. As a result, they stress when they cannot control everything and mistakenly attribute this responsibility. This kind of reasoning leads sick people to feel responsible and guilty for their illness.
Are we not going to prove Arthur Miller right when he says: “The feelings of guilt are very repetitive, they are repeated so much in the human mind that you end up tired of hearing them. ”
III – Guilt, the Greatest Cause of Malaise
Guilt holds a lot of place in the unpleasant situations we live in. In general, what is most harmful is the lack of awareness of our guilt and shame. Most people are aware of between 5% and 10% of what they live inside and the same unpleasant incidents are repeated over and over again. That’s why my primary motivation is to provide tools to help them develop their awareness.
Feeling guilty and shame is believing to be at fault. Either we feel guilty, or we try to make others feel guilty when they allow themselves to be what we judge wrong. It is therefore very important to be alert to what is happening in itself. Know that as soon as you feel uncomfortable, there is a 90% chance that you will feel guilty about yourself or another person.
– In addition to causing us internal discomfort, guilt is also the cause of many ailments and diseases. A physical problem that causes pain is a sign of guilt and shame. It is an unconscious means that you use to punish yourself, believing yourself to be a bad person.
– When you make someone feel guilty, you can realize that what you feel is being a reflection of judgment on you. You learn that you are blamed for the same degree when you dare to be what you judge.
Guilt and shame show that you are wondering too much for the moment. You have forgotten that to love oneself truly is to give oneself the right to live all kinds of experiences as a human to learn about oneself.
– Guilt can draw your attention to the fact that you are not applying the notion of responsibility. To be responsible is to know that we are constantly creating our life according to our decisions, our actions, and our reactions. It is, in addition, to know that it is we who must bear the consequences. Being responsible also means remembering that others create their own lives and that it is up to them to bear their own consequences.
*** The Antidote to Guilt:
Implement the law of responsibility. By accepting the consequences of your actions, you learn what is smart for you or not. So, instead of considering action as bad or a mistake, you become grateful to use it to help you move more towards an intelligent attitude.