Even when it seems difficult to live happiness elsewhere, it is possible to live the family happiness. It all depends on us. All you need to know is the secret of family happiness. In this article, we give the opportunity to know a little more.
I – The Secret of Family Happiness
Parents show that they value their children when they spend time with them. When children feel that they are a priority, they find their place in the family.
1. Have Time for Your Family
This is the beginning and first secret of family happiness. Without a doubt, the first secret of family happiness is having time for one’s family, one for the other. Then you have to plan time with your family and finally create family traditions.
In an article entitled “The importance of family time on children’s mental health and their adaptation to life”, Child Psychiatrist Gail Fernandez wrote: “From birth to adulthood, children need time and the attention of their parents “(ChildDevelopmentInfo.com, January 4, 2012).
It lists five benefits related to the time parents spend with their children:
– The child feels loved and valued
– He or she can copy the behavior of the parents
– Parents can observe and know the strengths and weaknesses of the child, to guide him or her best
– The child has the opportunity to share his thoughts and personal feelings
– Parents and the child reinforce the bond that unites them.
Parents show that they value their children when they spend time with them. When children feel that they are a priority, they find their place in the family. Developing a sense of belonging is one of the most important goals of the family. Communication specialist Deborah Tannen explains: “Family is a sense of belonging – a foundation for who we are and what we do. It seems that if we can integrate into our family, we can integrate into the world “(I Only Say This Because I Love You, 2002, page xvi).
However, children are not the only beneficiaries of this link. Parents discover the personality and character of their children by spending time getting to know each one of them as a unique individual who needs to be appreciated. If parents strive to love their children through positive engagement, their family will become closer and stronger.
If this sounds like the family environment you would like to have, know that it is possible! There are many ways to create an atmosphere of mutual growth that gives room to each family member, but it is not a coincidence. You must decide to make it one of your top priorities. In other words, you must intentionally create this type of family. Here are two suggestions that can help you achieve this goal.
2. Schedule Time with Your Family
The second secret of family happiness is scheduling. While family members may have good intentions to spend time together, our daily activities tend to take over. This is why it is necessary to plan time for the family. One of the easiest ways to do this is to set a family day or evening a week and do an activity together.
There are so many activities that a family can do during this time aside and many of them are free. Here are just a few ideas:
– Take a bike ride. Many regions have bike paths.
– Visit an old friend or a person unable to leave the house.
– Walk-in a public garden.
– Look at old photo albums or photographs of a family event.
– Visit a farm welcoming visitors.
– Play board games after the meal.
– Visit museums or planetariums in your area. Some museums are free.
– Go fishing.
– Play frisbee or kite in the open air.
– Roller skating or ice skating.
With a little imagination, the possibilities are endless! One way to have diversity is to let family members decide in turn what will be the activity of the week. The goal is to make this activity a priority by planning time for the family.
3. Create Family Traditions
Traditions could hide the next secret of family happiness. Each family is an independent group that builds its own culture according to the preferences of its members. Most of this culture develops naturally and unconsciously over time, but other aspects can be decided voluntarily. It is here that the creation of family traditions can form the identity – the culture – of a family.
“Traditions are the behaviors and actions you perform repeatedly – regular rituals that you perform at the same time and/or in the same way. There may be big or small traditions, but they are different from routine and habits in that they are done with a specific purpose in mind and that they require reflection and intentionality “(The Art of Manliness, Brett and Kate McKay, 2013).
These authors also argue that each family should have three kinds of traditions: daily traditions, weekly traditions, and traditions to mark family events. Every family has opportunities to intentionally create such traditions.
The most important and obvious daily activity is probably the tradition of sharing meals with the family.
Instead of nibbling something fast or letting the electronics take up space, sharing daily meals with family members can be the most effective time of the day to connect with each other.
“Over the past 15 years, studies have confirmed what parents have known for a long time: sharing a family meal in a good mood is good for the mind, for the brain, and for the health of all members of the family. Recent studies link regular family meals to the behaviors parents want to see in their children: higher school averages, resilience, and self-esteem. In addition, family meals are often linked to a lower rate of drug use, teenage pregnancy, eating disorders, and depression “(TheFamilyDinnerProject.org).
Other daily rituals can become positive family traditions, such as reading together, singing, going for a walk, telling a story before going to sleep, etc. Do not hesitate to ask your children for ideas. The goal is to create traditions that work for your family.
II – The Basics of Family Happiness
It’s great to spend time with your family or to plan time with your family or even create family traditions – in your quest for family happiness. But you must not stop there. You need to practice the basics of family happiness. The following lines tell us more.
1. Emotional Security
It may seem obvious but the love, affection, trust, and tenderness that family members feel for each other is the first base that deserves to be cared for by everyone, daily, with attention, tender, and kind words and gestures, like a sacred fire.
2. Respect
This feeling that everyone must bring to the other by treating him with respect, be it physically or psychologically, respecting him in his intimacy, his particularities, and his difference, and showing tolerance.
3. Economic Stability
It may seem down to earth, but the economic stability guaranteed by work or other sources of income makes it possible to ensure the material security of the family and to prevent it from being emotionally weakened. This security is probably ancestral, but it is vital.
4. Psychological Stability
When one of the family members is psychologically weakened, his / her discomfort may affect the entire family, so it is good to listen to him/her and empathize with them, and if need to be helped by health professionals.
5. Social Life
Young and old we all have our own social life outside of our family made of our relationships with our friends, our colleagues, our playmates, and our encounters. This openness to others is beneficial for everyone because it allows us to enrich ourselves, grow and evolve freely.
6. Gratitude
It allows us to appreciate all that we have and all that we offer each member of our family, this feeling of gratitude makes it possible to savor the simple things and the moments shared together, to put into perspective by becoming aware of the luck that we have to be surrounded by those we love.
7. The Good Mood and the Smile
Finally, I invite you, if you wish, to embellish your family life with smiles, laughter, and joy, and to believe in the magic of life that always works for those who love and hope…
III – Family Happiness: How to Be Happy on a Daily Basis?
There is, unfortunately, no magic formula! On the other hand, we can see in our daily life, full of moments “happiness”. Take note of this fact: “The secret of family happiness is about making your life enjoyable.”
Frédéric Lenoir’s book “Du bonheur, une voyage philosophique” deals very interestingly with this subject. This book has opened our eyes to the importance of being happy and how to be aware of your happiness to be happy.
1 – To Be Happy You Must Be Aware of Your Well-Being
Studies have shown that our brains are more comfortable with unpleasant events than pleasant ones. This fact would be linked to the principle of evolutionary psychology according to which, in order to survive, it is more important to memorize a danger in order to find the solution intended to counter it. That is why it is important to be aware of all the pleasant, sweet, happy moments that occur in our lives and to cultivate happy memories as long as possible. It is this awareness that will help to increase our happiness. It is obvious that we all live more or less painful moments that will never disappear from our memories; however, happiness is achieved by having a global look at the life we lead and our ability to memorize the positive.
2 – To Be Happy You Have to Orient Your Life Towards What We Love
Happiness in the family goes through our everyday life: family, work, friends, leisure… In those facts lies the secret of family happiness. It is therefore important to identify the professional activity in which we will flourish, to practice the leisure we love, to share beautiful moments with our family and friends It is through our capacity to reason that we can direct the choices that give meaning to our lives. This is the meaning we give to our life and the goals we want to go to that will make us feel happy. Everyday happiness is in the path we take to lead our lives in the direction we want, the achievement of our goals is only secondary to the pleasure we take to try to achieve them.
3 – To Be Happy, You Have to Know How to Listen to Your Own Needs
Being yourself, listening to your own needs, and respecting oneself are all keys to being happy. However, it is quite common to see people make their choice based on the view of others, compared to the education they received, or because they feel some pressure. We are too often trapped in the image that we want to give to others and which, in the end, frustrates us in our own choices. The secret of family happiness lies in the total acceptance of oneself, ie to affirm its character, to assume its choices, to reveal its tastes, to express its sensitivity … or to make short: to develop its own personality.
In Summary
The secret of family happiness depends on us. It is a question of choice, of will, and of organization As far as the bases of family happiness are concerned, it is for all these reasons that it is good to take care to maintain each one of these keys and the balance that they achieve to ensure the happiness of everyone in the family.
Note that family happiness is a daily business too.
Finally, happiness in the family consists of living in harmony with what you are (as an individual) and not with what you have (the goods you own). The ball is in your court: Take the time to make your family a priority!